I've been a little quiet of late. Externally anyway. Lots of mind chatter but
too busy getting my life in order to reflect and write.
Two of my favourite things.
House sold. House packed up. House locked up. Favourite rose transplanted. Lights out.
End of chapter.
I drove past the "cutest little house in Yarraville" last night and even though I
felt a certain sadness, I did okay.
I think the fact that the new owners arrived on the day of settlement 1 hour before they were due to arrive and had a very severe and extended dig at me in the dying moments - most likely helped somewhat.
There I was - cleaning their house, for them, and was on the receiving end of a barrage of abuse. 'YOU shouldn't be here. YOU don't own this house anymore. WE own this house. You should be out. THIS house should have been cleaned a week ago!'
Well. After the initial shock subsided ..
Never have a go at a woman with a vacuum cleaner in one hand and a bottle of spray and wipe in the other. Particularly when she has an erratic thyroid!
The pointer finger came out. DO. NOT. EVEN. START. I said to hysterical lady and whiney man. DO. NOT. EVEN. START. God is there anything worse than a whiney man.
And so I gathered up my cleaning products, calmly dropped from a theatrical height - all of them, into the bin and walked around MY little house one last time. It was interesting that as I did this only the
saddest and most heartbreaking of memories came to mind.
saddest and most heartbreaking of memories came to mind.
A little while ago someone I have ongoing respect for told me to 'trust your gut'.
I have tried but it hasn't worked very well.
Until it suddenly dawned on me that maybe my gut was not in good enough condition to trust!
Maybe all the stress cortisol is playing havoc with me! Maybe it's my low iron!
This year I reached the Medicare Safety Net. First time ever. So I was up for anything the tax payer would cover. I put my serious hospital aversion on hold and reaped the reward.
Last week I had to have an iron infusion because I have no iron!
Well that was interesting.
My doctor said how are you managing to get out of bed?
I said because I have to. When you have to push on you have to push on.
She said I might feel a little flu like over the weekend.
Well I didn't feel flu like. I woke up at midnight with pains in the chest, hot sweats, dizziness and nausea. I won't lie. It was very very scary. I thought okay well this is probably it.
But 3 days later here I am.
But in that moment lying on the floor overcome with dizziness I decided it was time.The perfect time.
I am going on a Health Retreat. Alone.
Time for me to get my own house in order.
I am very excited though somewhat nervous at the same time.
Two weeks to calm my mind and repair my gut so once again I can trust it's instincts. Time to power off the laptop, iPad and iPhone.
Bliss. I think. No alcohol, no gluten. Yes no alcohol. At this time of year! Oh God. Bliss. I think.
I went to see Oprah last week. I know - many people have asked me why?
But spending my 20's and 30's as a shift worker and filling in the daytime hours I feel we are closely acquainted, me and the big O. It wasn't everything I had hoped for but one thing I did come away with was her little chat about doing everything with intent. It did call out to me.
So that is want I am doing. From the 27th December to the 10th January I will be doing this retreat - with intent.
I am looking forward to the New Year. The building works of my new shack right next door to my current shack is now well under way. Major dirt dust and noise. I am loving it!
It is exciting to witness day by day the progress.
I wish every little one of you near and far a very happy Christmas. I think of you more than you would know.
And I hope that the New Year is shiny and bright.
With love and intent.
