Who I Am

Today I swam a lazy half k.

I love swimming. I love the water.

I would go so far as to say that it’s one of a few things that I am ‘quite’ good at.

One of the few things that I have a prolonged attention span for.

And for all of you who think you could never swim a lazy half k.

You can.

It’s all in the breathing.

But unless you can grasp this concept you may as well go buy yourself a new pair of runners.

Rule 1.

BLOW OUT while your head is IN the water. And I do mean a big gusty blow!
You are NOT making a wish here folk!

Rule 2.

BREATHE IN while your head is OUT of the water

This requires somewhat a little more strategy if you are in the ocean.

i.e. Extra attention required here or prepare for an unexpected mouthful of salty water, choking, coughing and looking most unglamorous!

My favourite song of the moment is 'Some Night's by Fun.
Not my all time favourite song .. just the one of the moment .. dare I mention the two words  ‘attention span!' ..

It’s a great song to swim by – inspires a certain pounding through the water!

I particularly like the bridge:

And that's alright; I found a martyr in my bed tonight
Stops my bones from wondering just who I am, who I am, who I am Oh, who am I?  

Who I am. Who I am. Who I am, Who am I?

Three little words when whose order is simply changed .. inspire a whole new train of thought .. dare I mention the two words .. ‘attention span!' ..

That got me thinking.

Because the water is a most special place to think.
And I was thinking about Banana Paddle Pops.

BANANA PADDLE POPS YOU ARE THINKING?!?

I know ..

But stay with me here. I sort of know where I am heading. I just need to get there.

What a media frenzy this week over the little old Banana Paddle Pop!
Who would have thought?

However I do feel I am qualified to contribute to this brouhaha.
Over qualified maybe.
You see I think I have most likely consumed over 1000 Banana Paddle Pops in my short life!

For many years I was a shift worker. 24/7. And the graveyard shift was hell. Not that it wasn’t entertaining. Trust me – people come out with the funniest things when sleep deprived at 3am!

But trying for quality sleep in the daylight was truly awful. For years I just headed home at 8am directly to bed. To a sleep of the dead. Only to wake up at 2pm. UGH!
And then have to wait 10 hours to go to work! For another 8 hours. Further UGH!

Until I discovered THE SECRET. It was only in my last few years of shift work that I discovered THE SECRET! 100’s of sleeping pills and litres of warm milk and honey later and it was all so simple!

SWIMMING!

I started going directly to the pool. Do not go home! Do not utter the word bed. Pack your gear and your goggles and head directly to THE POOL.
Do not think twice. No. Don’t!
Just. Go.

So that was me. Directly to THE POOL.

To physically exhaust myself. In preparation for SLEEP. Real SLEEP.
Not drug enhanced or short term.
Doing something I love.

And everyday after my lazy half k I had a Banana Paddle Pop! It was Breakfast.
Or maybe it was Dinner? I am not sure what food group it fell into but I do know I loved it.
Every day.

Just the way it was. It was perfect.

“Who am I, who am I , who am I. Who I am?”

I gave up swimming for a very long time. I gave up the beach for a very long time. I gave these things up for something that I thought was better. But like the new Banana Paddle Pop - turns out it wasn’t.
Time to remember the things you have loved.

I am going back to the pool. To the beach.

It’s who I am.

The other night, you wouldn't believe

The dream I just had about you and me
I called you up, but we'd both agree
It's for the best you didn't listen
It's for the best we get our distance...

Spring is upon us.

Tomorrow another lazy half k – and maybe tomorrow I’ll lose count.
Attention span!

Exclamation !!!!

Could this possibly be one of the worst weeks of my life?

It’s up there.

I am dying.
Of embarrassment. Of mortification. 
Of shock.

I can’t breathe. I am crying and laughing at the same time.
Sobbing.
Laughing.
Sobbing.
Laughing.

I think I’m a little hysterical.
I think I've become a fifty year old Bridget Jones.
And it’s now 2 days after the event.
And yet still .. spontaneous outbursts of laughter.
At the checkout.  In the café.  In the theatre. Behind the wheel. In bed.

Dear God. I need a bloody good slapping ..

Last Friday afternoon.

Pouring tea for the Chairman of the Board.
Yes. The. Chairman. Of. The. Freaking. Board !!!!
Lovely fellow.

And within a split second, a nanosecond in fact – there it went.
My skirt.  Lying on the ground in a pool around my feet!!!!

Oh. My. Bloody. God.
Sorry God.

I died.
I did.
I truly did.

And for all of you who have laughed for years over my love of lacey stay ups.
Who's laughing now!!!!

Recently someone commented on my robust enthusiasm for the exclamation mark.
Asked me how these exclamation marks manifested themselves in my life.
Well this could well be my greatest exclamation mark E V E R !!!!

I will never be able to look him in the eye again. E V E R !!!!

And has my boss herself stopped laughing long enough to draw breath?
My friend's dog died on the same day.
And even she's still laughing !!!!

Jesus.

Sorry Jesus.

Dying ..

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sushi in Selfridges




Shopped!

The day I sat alone eating Sushi in Selfridges was the day I categorically knew that life had to change.
That I had to change.
Change was in the air.
And NO - I don't mean THAT change!

Although since last we met in Feb 2011 - I
have turned Five 0 !

And did I turn Five 0 in Hawaii Five 0 ?

Yes - I did 0 !
And was it Fab 0 ?

Yes indeed 0 it certainly was 0 !

Like to hear about it?
Well then righty 0 !

The planning took forever!
Well as long as a couple of clicks and a phone call!

I only needed 6 things.

A flight. Check! And in the great big frequent flyer lottery of life - Business Class both ways! Double check!
A bed. Check. Outrigger Waikiki. Always have. Always will.
A bikini. Check Check and Check. Why pack one when you can pack 3!
A sarong. Ditto!
A credit card. Ditto. And in the great big exchange rate lottery of life - BINGO!
A buddy! Hmmmm. A little more female strategy required here i.e tears and begging!

Me to my brother    'Please please please can your wife come with me to Hawaii?'
My brother to me    'But she'll only have been home 2 days'
Me to my brother    'She doesn't need two days to repack'
My brother to me    'But school starts while you're away'
Me to my brother    'That's what our Mother is for'
My brother to me    'I dunno mate'
Me to my brother    'If you want to be responsible for me sniff sniff
                             putting my head in the oven sniff sniff'
My brother to me    'Oh Ok Ok'
Me to Monica          'YES YES YES' hee hee hee hee

It was a smooth smooth flight. So smooth in fact I slept almost the whole way! Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I had just flown long haul back to Melbourne 24 hours prior. Or maybe it was the call of the islands? Or maybe it was the Shiraz?

Or maybe it was just the feeling of peace.

I am often asked why I love Hawaii? Why someone who was raised on the beach feels the continual desire to travel to Hawaii.
And the answer is I really don't know. I just know that I love it there. Alone or with company. Even if only for a very short time.
The mountain springs in Oahu weave their way down to the shores of Waikiki carrying their pristine waters to the ocean. In ye days of ye olde, Hawaiian Royalty came to bathe, to be rejuvenated. If it was good enough for them, it's good enough for me!

Rejuvenating. That's why I love Hawaii.



Happy!

  

Ate!

Monica and I.
We had the most excellent time. We laughed, we cried, we remembered, we slept, we read, we discovered, we danced, we drank, we ate, we   walked, we talked. Oh and we shopped!

But most of all we made the choice to be happy.

Completely and utterly happy.

And hopeful for the future.

And in those ten days I learnt that that it is indeed possible to make that choice.

The mind when used well is a powerful tool.



Fifty!

 







But above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.



Aloha Nui Loa